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| To pass on the happy news for those who have not heard, Don Simon Morcar was announced and elevated to the Order of the Laurel on Saturday for his study and promotion of period swordplay in the SCA. To add to to the happy news, shortly afterwards, Dona Margalit Medicus was announced for the Order of the Pelican. They have not announced the elevation date for her elevation. | | |
| So does anyone else find it interesting that Guy Fawkes Day is the day after the most contentious election in memory? | | |
| For all my old friends in Ansteorra, I should let you know that Armand de Foix, cadet to Don Eule von Haginbald, was greviously injured last week at Warriors & Warlords while defending Her Majesty Northshield from stray zombies following an undead themed Baroness' Whim tournament. He was immediately attended to by the Northshield Quack's Guild, but unfortunately they were not able to save him, thouh the word is that the autopsy of his pouches was a success. Luckily, Her Majesty was able to replace him on the Northshield Rapier Guard with my new persona, Niccolo Falconetto, who later took a red scarf from Don Simon Morcar. In case you are curious, yes Eule fully signed off on this as I am active again. It was not as flashy as being publicly executed by Joachim, but should be showy enough to get people o stop using the old name. Hopefully, I will get to see many of you at Gulf Wars this year. It has been too long. Ernesto | | |
| Since I haven't seen it make the rounds here yet. Puck posted this on the Tattershall group earlier this week. Enjoy. He said it was okay to pass on as long as you give him authorial credit. Ernesto _________________________________ Hola,
With apologies, as someone who has spent a lot of time on the other end of the support line, this has been rattling around in my head for some time. For better or worse, here it is.
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A Most Merry Tale of the Duel
**Phone rings**
Technician: This is Capoferro Tech Support, can I help you?
Caller: Yes, I am currently in a duel and I would like some help.
Technician: Can I get some information about your opponent?
Caller: Sure. He has a sword.
Technician: Can you tell me anything else?
Caller: He's got black hair and brown eyes.
Technician: [audible sigh]... Can you tell me if he is skilled, unskilled, or bestial?
Caller: How can you tell?
Technician: A bestial fencer will throw many blows with great impetus and has no understanding of tempo or measure.
Caller: I don't think that's him; he's just standing there.
Technician: Does he have his sword out?
Caller: Yes and it is pointed at me.
Technician: Are you within his measure?
Caller: I don't know.
Technician: Can he currently strike you with a lunge?
Caller: Yes, he's already hit me twice... I'm bleeding a bit from the shoulder. That's why I called you.
Technician: You should have told me that first. I need you to immediately retreat out of distance.
Caller: Ok... I have retreated... He seems to have relaxed a bit.
Technician: That's good. I need to know if your opponent is clever.
Caller: **Loudly aside** Hey, are you clever or what? **Into the phone** He says he isn't clever.
Technician: I want you to assume the guard and cover the inside line with your blade. Turn your point towards his forward shoulder aligning your edge so that you cover his blade with your strong against his weak.
Caller: Ok... this seems to be working. I think he might be impressed or something. He might even be afraid. I love fencing!
Technician: Now, he should execute a cavazione and try to strike you on the outside high line. Be ready to counterattack by rolling your hand into secunda, closing the line and counterthrusting. Are you ready?
Caller: Ok.
Technician: I want you to gradually move forward with tiny steps directly towards him.
Caller: Ok... I'm taking tiny steps... He hasn't done anything yet. I think it may be working. Oh oh... he attacked the outside just like you said!! I'm counterattacking!! Ahhhh Ahh ohhh ohhh!! He feinted!! He feinted!! He parried my counterattack!! I'm bleeding again!! Yes.. I'm definitely bleeding!! I hate fencing!! I hate it!!
Technician: Calm down. Calm down! I need you to listen to me. I need you to retreat out of distance again.
Caller: Ok... Ok... I'm retreating. He relaxed again. What would happen if I rushed him? Would that work?
Technician: It would probably work for him.
Caller: What does that mean?
Technician: Don't worry about it. Here's what you need to do.
Caller: Ok, I'm ready.
Technician: Are you out of distance?
Caller: Yes.
Technician: Can you see the adversary?
Caller: Yes.
Technician: When you are ready, I want you to repeat after me. Are you ready?
Caller: Yes.
Technician: "I want to sincerely apologize for having offended you."
Caller: **Loudly aside** I want to sincerely apologize for having offended you.
Technician: Now put your sword away and see if he lets you leave.
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For the record, covering the inside line and counterattacking the cavazione in 2nd is Plate 7. I'll leave it to you guys to figure out what the clever fencer's response was.
Pachomius Oneshoe
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